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Tuesday, January 26, 2016

A Patient Confesses: This is What It’s Really Like to Have Schizophrenia By Anonymous

"ome days, I feel that every thought in my head is broadcast to the people around me, so I have to be extra careful about what I think because I can’t let the people sitting nearby in the coffee shop find out my secrets. On other days, I pick up extra information about people and situations. I might be able to hear voices that explain what the lady behind me in line at the grocery store is really thinking about me. Most times, this extra perception just buzzes quietly in the back of my brain as I go through my day. Intense episodes happen infrequently.

Istarted having symptoms when I was 19. Since then, I’ve had to teach myself to always be the last person to react to things and to mistrust my own judgment and perceptions. Unique situations have to be run through an “Is this real?” test. I have to constantly live with the fear that the universe that I experience may not be the same as the universe that actually exists.

For example, a while ago, I was in a large meeting at work, and a bunch of lightning bugs began to fly around the room. Check 1: Is this possible? Answer: implausible but not impossible. Check 2: Is anyone else in the room reacting or commenting on the situation? Answer: No? Then I’ll assume it’s not real until I have evidence to the contrary"

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