funny, but actually a good way to "fight" with your significant other or friend. It lessens the blow and if you say things like these people do not get hurt. Sometimes, we can not keep calm, but we do not need to say hurtful things like "I hate you." "I hope you sit on you phone and text 4 Ps to someone you haven't talked to in a LONG time" is much better than "I hope you rot in hell you ungrateful c*nt!" The "I want you to suffer" part is still there, but it comes out in a humerus form instead of hateful. Couples can take back "I hope the shower curtain sticks to you and you can't get it off of you" much better than "You are the reason your stepmother killed herself" like at the end with the other couple.
Some good ones ormthe comments:
I hope that the next time you boot up your computer, it never actually starts up, it just HANGS ON THE LOADING SCREEN FOR 45 MINUTES.
I hope that the next time you visit the baggage claim at the airport, the handlers DELIBERATELY WAIT TO PUT YOUR BELONGINGS ON A CART!
I hope the next time you have to take a shit in someone else's house, I hope the bathroom is small that your poop noises echo and EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU TAKING A SHIT! AND IT'S AWKWARD WHEN YOU WALK OUT! AND THEY MAKE JOKES ABOUT YOU!
FINE. I JUST HOPE THE NEXT TIME YOU GO TO YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT, YOU ORDER YOUR FAVORITE DISH AND THE WAITER SAYS THEY'RE OUT OF IT, AND YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT AND ARE FORCED TO DECIDE SOME OTHER DISH ON THE SPOT!!...AND THE OTHER DISH ISN'T THAT GOOD AND YOU FEEL BUMMED THE WHOLE NIGHT!
I hope your computer shut off because you forget to charge it AND YOU HAVE TO START IT UP AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
Well I hope you notice all the picture frames hanging in your house are misadjusted, AND THEN YOU HAVE TO FIX THEM!!!
I hope...that the next time...you're watching a good movie on Netflix......THE INTERNET SLOWS DOWN AND FOR THE REST OF THE MOVIE IT STOPS AT REALLY GOOD PARTS SO IT CAN BUFFER
I want you to use a coupon, AND WHEN YOU DO I WANT IT TO HAVE EXPIRED MONTHS AGO, and the salesperson laughing mercilessly rips it up slowly in front of your face into tinsy little pieces
I hope the next time you pull headphones out of your pocket, they are SO TANGLED UP, THEY TIE THEMSELVES INTO KNOTS AND YOU HAVE TO STAND THERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT TRYING TO GET THEM UNTANGLED.
I hope that the next time you go to the movies the person in front of you is too tall for you to see over
I hope that the next time you go to a party you don't know anybody and you feel super uncomfortable for the whole night.
I hope that the next time you go to the gym YOU FORGET YOUR EARPHONES!!!
I hope that you get a small stone in your shoe at the start of a long walk and due to social pressures and the awkwardness of stopping you feel obliged to just put up with it for the whole walk while slightly hating yourself.
I hope you step in a small pool of water on your bathroom floor with socks on.
I hope after watching tv with your legs propped up too long you have to go take a shit and when you stand up your legs are asleep and you have to grab a hold of furniture along the way to steady yourself in order to make it to the bathroom! THEN... you find out that someone is already occupying the bathroom on that floor so you have to walk upstairs to finally relieve yourself! THEN... YOU HAVE TO SHIT SO LONG THAT YOUR LEGS FALL BACK TO SLEEP AGAIN, IF THEY RECOVERED AT ALL, AND YOU HAVE TO WALK DOWN THE STAIRS THAT WAY!
I hope next time when you want to masturbate because you're lonely the computer slows down and stops at good parts when you are about to cum.
I hope the next time you walk around the house in socks you accidentally step on a puddle and you go through the whole day wearing your wet sock while the other one is perfectly dry
'I hope you go to get that last piece of raspberry cheesecake that you saved from last night and have been thinking about all day, but when you open the fridge you find out your @#%ing roommate ATE IT ALREADY!"
Next time you are in a large crowd I hope you fart and its extremely akward so you just die
I HOPE NEXT TIME YOU'RE WATCHING YOUTUBE ON YOUR COMPUTER, YOUR COMPUTER JUST SHUTS DOWN SO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO FIND THE PLACE YOU WERE AT WHEN YOU TURN IT BACK ON!
I hope the next time you go to the restroom and you wipe your ass, five minutes after you left the restroom you feel like you have to wipe your ass again even though your butt is clean but you have this weird feeling that you didn't wipe right the whole day!