1. The relationship scorecard
2. Dropping “hints” and other passive-aggression
3. Holding the relationship hostage
4. Blaming your partner for your own emotions
5. Displays of “loving” jealousy
6. Buying the solutions to relationship problems
See explanations & more @ Quartz
Showing posts with label Abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Abuse. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Friday, July 24, 2015
The murder of Kelly Anne Bates
"Kelly Anne Bates (18 May 1978 – 16 April 1996) was a British teenager who was murdered in Manchester on 16 April 1996 when aged 17.[ She was tortured over a period of four weeks, including having her eyes gouged from their sockets up to three weeks before her death, by her partner James Patterson Smith (born c. 1948) before being drowned in a bathtub.
The murder inquiry was headed by Detective Sergeant Joseph Monaghan of Greater Manchester Police, who said: "I have been in the police force for 15 years and have never seen a case as horrific as this." William Lawler, the pathologist who examined Bates' body, described her injuries as "the worst he had seen on a murder victim".Smith, a misogynist with a history of violence and torture against former lovers, denied murdering Bates but was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment on 19 November 1997.
See more @ Wikipedia
The murder inquiry was headed by Detective Sergeant Joseph Monaghan of Greater Manchester Police, who said: "I have been in the police force for 15 years and have never seen a case as horrific as this." William Lawler, the pathologist who examined Bates' body, described her injuries as "the worst he had seen on a murder victim".Smith, a misogynist with a history of violence and torture against former lovers, denied murdering Bates but was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment on 19 November 1997.
See more @ Wikipedia
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Aleesha Barlow's Tell Somebody Movement
Frm her site:
""I Was Molested By My Mother's Father When I Was a Child. At 7 Years Old, I Told My Mom and Her Two Sisters and They Made Me Promise Not To Tell Anyone. Not The Police, and Not My Own Father! They Told Me Not To Worry, But They Would Confront My Grandfather and It Would Stop. I Did Not Tell, But I Was STILL Brought Around Him and Continued To Get Molested, Through Out My Teen Age Years.
I Told My Family Hoping They Could Save Me, but Instead I Found, They were NOT my Family, Because Family Wouldn't Put Me In Harms Way, and Then Turn a Deaf Ear and Blind Eye To Me.
So Here I Am, 20 Years Later, Telling My Dad and The WORLD, My story! Here I Am 20 Years Later, STRONG not broken, With My "Tell Somebody" Movement! My Life's Purpose, To Bring Awareness, and To Give STRENGTH to ALL Victims!! "Its Time To Tell Somebody, and If That Doesn't Work, YOU TELL SOMEBODY ELSE!!"
WE ARE SURVIVORS. WHICH MEANS WE ARE WARRIORS! WHICH MEANS WE ARE STRONG! YOU ARE STRONG! GOD BLESS YOU ALL. I Love You All!
-Aleesha Barlow"
Check out the site for Aleesha Barlow's Tell Somebody Movement
""I Was Molested By My Mother's Father When I Was a Child. At 7 Years Old, I Told My Mom and Her Two Sisters and They Made Me Promise Not To Tell Anyone. Not The Police, and Not My Own Father! They Told Me Not To Worry, But They Would Confront My Grandfather and It Would Stop. I Did Not Tell, But I Was STILL Brought Around Him and Continued To Get Molested, Through Out My Teen Age Years.
I Told My Family Hoping They Could Save Me, but Instead I Found, They were NOT my Family, Because Family Wouldn't Put Me In Harms Way, and Then Turn a Deaf Ear and Blind Eye To Me.
So Here I Am, 20 Years Later, Telling My Dad and The WORLD, My story! Here I Am 20 Years Later, STRONG not broken, With My "Tell Somebody" Movement! My Life's Purpose, To Bring Awareness, and To Give STRENGTH to ALL Victims!! "Its Time To Tell Somebody, and If That Doesn't Work, YOU TELL SOMEBODY ELSE!!"
WE ARE SURVIVORS. WHICH MEANS WE ARE WARRIORS! WHICH MEANS WE ARE STRONG! YOU ARE STRONG! GOD BLESS YOU ALL. I Love You All!
-Aleesha Barlow"
Check out the site for Aleesha Barlow's Tell Somebody Movement
Monday, March 30, 2015
what is gas-lighting by The National Domestic Abuse Hotline
"There are a variety of gaslighting techniques that an abusive partner might use:
Withholding: the abusive partner pretends not to understand or refuses to listen. Ex. “I don’t want to hear this again,” or “You’re trying to confuse me.”
Countering: the abusive partner questions the victim’s memory of events, even when the victim remembers them accurately. Ex. “You’re wrong, you never remember things correctly.”
Blocking/Diverting: the abusive partner changes the subject and/or questions the victim’s thoughts. Ex. “Is that another crazy idea you got from [friend/family member]?” or “You’re imagining things.”
Trivializing: the abusive partner makes the victim’s needs or feelings seem unimportant. Ex. “You’re going to get angry over a little thing like that?” or “You’re too sensitive.”
Forgetting/Denial: the abusive partner pretends to have forgotten what actually occurred or denies things like promises made to the victim. Ex. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or “You’re just making stuff up.”
(Source)"
See the entire article @ the Hotline
Withholding: the abusive partner pretends not to understand or refuses to listen. Ex. “I don’t want to hear this again,” or “You’re trying to confuse me.”
Countering: the abusive partner questions the victim’s memory of events, even when the victim remembers them accurately. Ex. “You’re wrong, you never remember things correctly.”
Blocking/Diverting: the abusive partner changes the subject and/or questions the victim’s thoughts. Ex. “Is that another crazy idea you got from [friend/family member]?” or “You’re imagining things.”
Trivializing: the abusive partner makes the victim’s needs or feelings seem unimportant. Ex. “You’re going to get angry over a little thing like that?” or “You’re too sensitive.”
Forgetting/Denial: the abusive partner pretends to have forgotten what actually occurred or denies things like promises made to the victim. Ex. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or “You’re just making stuff up.”
(Source)"
See the entire article @ the Hotline
My rules of friendship by WLI
I'm "jojo" I wrote these for some of my "friends" if they can't follow these they are out. I have some horrible friendships and I just can't deal with how some of my friends treat me. Instead of cutting them off I guess I would give them a change. I think these are good enough for everyone. No one deserves to be treated like shniz, but on the other hand no one is perfect. But sometimes, you have to lay down the line. If my friends do these I probably wouldn't end the friendship (as I am not perfect) but constant contact will be dropped down to holiday and "thinking of you" cards. And I wouldbe honest with them. I, personally, would say "listen I said I wouldn't be friends with someone who did that and yet you did. I can't have constant communication with someone who treats like that. We need a break I got your address and we can remain in contact because I love and care for you, but our close friendship is over."
I don't care if we have been friends forever or a day I don't care about the past this is NOW If this applies to you.. well don't do it around me.
1. If you make fun of my intelligence AT ALL (with the exception of me ACTUALLY DOING something stupid or silly IN THAT MOMENT - but make fun of the event, not ME personally )or my intelligence or ability to do something we will be done
2.If you gossip about me AT ALL I don't care if it's good or bad. Leave my name out of your mouth. We will be done
I don't care if we have been friends forever or a day I don't care about the past this is NOW If this applies to you.. well don't do it around me.
1. If you make fun of my intelligence AT ALL (with the exception of me ACTUALLY DOING something stupid or silly IN THAT MOMENT - but make fun of the event, not ME personally )or my intelligence or ability to do something we will be done
2.If you gossip about me AT ALL I don't care if it's good or bad. Leave my name out of your mouth. We will be done
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Vegan Ricotta Cheese from Vegan Insanity
"INGREDIENTS
2 cups raw cashews, soaked for at least 2 hours, then drained
2 garlic cloves
3 tbsp lemon juice
¼ cup plain non-dairy milk (I used soy)
1 tbsp maple syrup
1½ tbsp extra virgin olive oil
½ tbsp dried basil
⅓ cup fresh chives
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
½ tsp salt"
See directions @ Vegan Insanity
2 cups raw cashews, soaked for at least 2 hours, then drained
2 garlic cloves
3 tbsp lemon juice
¼ cup plain non-dairy milk (I used soy)
1 tbsp maple syrup
1½ tbsp extra virgin olive oil
½ tbsp dried basil
⅓ cup fresh chives
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
½ tsp salt"
See directions @ Vegan Insanity
Thursday, February 12, 2015
This is why 50 shades of grey is completely sh*t
It'sokay to read FSOG and enjoy it but do not think that is how BDSM relationships work.
See enlarged image
See enlarged image
Check out Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness/ what are forms of abuse
Gives a lot of information about different forms of abuse
"Nicole Baran, MSW, is the Executive Director and Founder of the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness. She has been dedicated to the domestic violence movement since 2000, working both as an advocate with survivors of domestic violence and at the policy level for systemic change. Nicole has conducted national trainings and contributed to publications to improve the institutional response to domestic violence since 2001. She has delivered over 300 customized workshops, locally and nationwide, at organizations such as Kaiser Permanente, the San Francisco Bar Association, and California’s State Domestic Violence Coalition. Nicole has been teaching in the Feminist Studies Program at Stanford University since 2007 after developing Violence Against Women: Theory, Issues and Prevention. In 2006, she successfully partnered with Stanford University to institutionalize a comprehensive response to gender-based violence on campus. She managed a five-year grant from the USDOJ Office on Violence Against Women and was instrumental in implementing Stanford’s first Office on Sexual Assault and Relationship Abuse. Nicole received her BA and MA in English from Stanford University and a Masters in Social Work from Washington University in St. Louis, with a specialization in management and a focus on women’s rights. Nicole Baran is also the Executive Director of the Peggy and Jack Baskin Foundation which funds innovative strategies for eliminating obstacles facing marginalized populations, with an emphasis on empowering women and promoting educational equality. She established the infrastructure and direction of the Foundation and became the first Executive Director in 2009."
Check out Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness
"Nicole Baran, MSW, is the Executive Director and Founder of the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness. She has been dedicated to the domestic violence movement since 2000, working both as an advocate with survivors of domestic violence and at the policy level for systemic change. Nicole has conducted national trainings and contributed to publications to improve the institutional response to domestic violence since 2001. She has delivered over 300 customized workshops, locally and nationwide, at organizations such as Kaiser Permanente, the San Francisco Bar Association, and California’s State Domestic Violence Coalition. Nicole has been teaching in the Feminist Studies Program at Stanford University since 2007 after developing Violence Against Women: Theory, Issues and Prevention. In 2006, she successfully partnered with Stanford University to institutionalize a comprehensive response to gender-based violence on campus. She managed a five-year grant from the USDOJ Office on Violence Against Women and was instrumental in implementing Stanford’s first Office on Sexual Assault and Relationship Abuse. Nicole received her BA and MA in English from Stanford University and a Masters in Social Work from Washington University in St. Louis, with a specialization in management and a focus on women’s rights. Nicole Baran is also the Executive Director of the Peggy and Jack Baskin Foundation which funds innovative strategies for eliminating obstacles facing marginalized populations, with an emphasis on empowering women and promoting educational equality. She established the infrastructure and direction of the Foundation and became the first Executive Director in 2009."
Check out Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Friday, October 3, 2014
BE-SAFE Victim Advocacy Program
"BE-SAFE Advocates can provide the following confidential and free services:
A safety plan is a tool which enables victims of domestic abuse to assess their options and reduce their risk of further abuse. Should you feel unsafe at any time, it is important to notify the advocates so they can assist you."
Check out BeSafe's abuse plan and advocacy.
- Supportive counseling and crisis intervention in person and by phone;
- Court accompaniment and advocacy;
- Safety planning;
- Referral and linkage to other needed programs, such as shelter, emergency housing, and long-term counseling;
- Information and education about domestic violence, teen dating violence, elder abuse, and assistance for children who witness abuse;
- Information and education about the court process;
- Facilitation of your wishes to the Assistant District Attorneys;
- Assistance with filing compensation claim applications with New York State Office of Victim Services (OVS),
- Assistance with compiling, copying, and distributing Victim Impact Statements; and
- Providing bilingual services.
- We understand that you may not be ready to proceed with criminal charges and can help explain options to maintain your safety. Advocates will assist you throughout each stage of your case. If your case is a felony-level crime, an Advocate will provide on-going support and accompaniment to each proceeding, whether it is Grand Jury or trial.
A safety plan is a tool which enables victims of domestic abuse to assess their options and reduce their risk of further abuse. Should you feel unsafe at any time, it is important to notify the advocates so they can assist you."
Check out BeSafe's abuse plan and advocacy.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)